Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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