i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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