i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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