Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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