And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
false alarm, still single
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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