Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
