Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
