How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
