You can't motorboat a personality
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
