I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
