I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize