You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Randomize
