Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
