that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
