She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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