good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
