shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
