You just made me feel so damn special
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
