Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
