...so i touched it.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
