How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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