dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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