I bet he comes in French.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize