Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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