There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just gift wrapped bread.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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