It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
