Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
