They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
