Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
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