I think im going to throw up on grandma
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize