white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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