I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
