You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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