i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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