i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i've created a new STD.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
