Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
