Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
