no. you can't hotbox the world.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
