I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
