ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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