I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
3pm strippers are depressing
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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