So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Randomize
