I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
