when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
