Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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