Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
