Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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