let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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