So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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