Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
