I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
