you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
