Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
