I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
