She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
