i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We just shotgunned beers for America
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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