he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
