I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think my moral compass just broke
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