So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
