We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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