Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
