I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
