Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
