it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it hurts more in the daytime
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Im part way to drunk.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize