yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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