Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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