Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
